I just realized I posted a couple of my most inane posts right after a certain goat/cat lady linked to me from her bloggedy blog. Which really just fuels the conversation she started about the whole blog phenomena. Do I suddenly think people are buyin' what I been sellin', and does/should it make a difference in what I post? Why or why not? Discuss.
However, if, like, Goatmaiden's mom suddenly picked this day to see what Ashcan-Rantings is all about, well, talking about almost puking into a wastebasket is probably not my best work. So skip that one, Goatmom, if indeed you are out there ;)
Here is my own weird thought of the day: my hands are starting to show their age. And I like it. Old hands are way prettier than plain old smooth ones. My veins stick out.
OK, so I thrive on the inane.
I might be working on commercials with giant eggs in them soon. And a Manhattan-based outfit is looking for a PA but didn't mention what day. Heh. Makes me less paranoid about typos on my resume.
NINE MORE DAYS of fucking doorknobs.
Monday, June 18, 2007
WTF
See below how I had a stomach ache last night -- I almost puked in my garbage can at work today. Food poisoning again? Something. I suddenly felt really nauseous, broke out in a cold sweat all over, and was shaky. Someone told me I looked terrible and I went in the bathroom and I was seriously green. Then it passed, but my legs ached all day. Pleah. I'm feeling better now than this morning, but still not great. I hate it!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Iowans are the wrost drivers
Family reunion was very fun -- so good to see everyone! My brother and I stayed in one of the worst hotels I've been in (and as I'm quick to point out, I've stayed in some of the worst hotels in the country -- I have LOW standards), but at least we had our own bathroom. With a shower. The house would have been a little crowded, plus grandma paid for our room, since we couldn't even afford that, let alone the Holiday Inn everyone else was staying at. Had to share a room with the bro, which was actually kind of fun. Not that we really did anything but watch TV -- no drunk-fests or deep conversations -- but it's good to spend time with him once in a while.
I don't feel so great right now. It could be because I had more sugar this weekend than I've had all year.
Cats survived the weekend alone, all 8 limbs still seem to be attached. I must admit that I do worry about my boys.
That's about all I have to say right now. It's really hot and my tummy hurts, so I think I'm going to watch a little Monty Python and go to bed.
I don't feel so great right now. It could be because I had more sugar this weekend than I've had all year.
Cats survived the weekend alone, all 8 limbs still seem to be attached. I must admit that I do worry about my boys.
That's about all I have to say right now. It's really hot and my tummy hurts, so I think I'm going to watch a little Monty Python and go to bed.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Today I turned in
My letter of resignation!
It went pretty well. Word got around fast (I figured no one would tell anyone, and the day after I left, people would say, hey, I didn't know Kristina quit... Happened to a friend of mine who just left this place, actually).
I wasn't sure if I was going to tell them what I was going to do, but everyone asked, and I didn't really want to be a bitch about it, so I told them. Probably a good thing, really, because then it looks like I'm leaving just because of that and not also because I hate that place. Not that I don't WANT to tell them that, but I really am trying to take the high road.
Today was really busy, and again I was getting annoyed, even at the people I mostly like. They're concerned that I don't leave them a mess when I leave, yet I can't walk by them without them pulling me into a totally pointless conversation, and I can't get them to voluntarily help with anything (if I do extricate myself from said conversation, they continue it for another half hour), and I really don't want to put any effort on my part into asking them to please help with some of this shit. But for god's sake, when I tell you I have 18 jobs, shipments or follow-ups that I need to do ASAP (and maybe have time to do half of them today if I really, really, really book ass), don't assume I'm exaggerating -- that's an actual count I had at one point, and I later realized I had forgotten a couple of things on that list -- so can you please stop bugging me? It would be easier to just slack off and not do it, but I'm TRYING to be a good person here, people! Anyway, if it continues I'll just let it go and be a slacker. It's for their benefit that I'm trying to be good. And I guess just to have the knowledge that I'm a good person. Eh, I know I'm a saint for dealing with this place for as long as I have. ;) Who wouldn't screw off and do as little as possible after giving their notice?
So that's that. Haven't progressed too much with the film stuff yet, but now that I'm free to put myself out there as much as I want, that's the next order of business. Got a non-paying job tonight & the showing of Saturday's project on Thurs., then leaving town for the weekend for my family reunion -- ack! So I guess Wednesday I'll be making some phone calls. Or maybe Monday. Because luck will dictate that if I call people right before a weekend I'm not available, I'll get all kinds of offers I'll have to turn down for the weekend... Could be worse, I guess. Next week I talk to a rental house to see if they'll hire me to as a grip-truck-stocker so I can learn more about gripping. And maybe get a class-whatever license so I can drive the trucks.
It went pretty well. Word got around fast (I figured no one would tell anyone, and the day after I left, people would say, hey, I didn't know Kristina quit... Happened to a friend of mine who just left this place, actually).
I wasn't sure if I was going to tell them what I was going to do, but everyone asked, and I didn't really want to be a bitch about it, so I told them. Probably a good thing, really, because then it looks like I'm leaving just because of that and not also because I hate that place. Not that I don't WANT to tell them that, but I really am trying to take the high road.
Today was really busy, and again I was getting annoyed, even at the people I mostly like. They're concerned that I don't leave them a mess when I leave, yet I can't walk by them without them pulling me into a totally pointless conversation, and I can't get them to voluntarily help with anything (if I do extricate myself from said conversation, they continue it for another half hour), and I really don't want to put any effort on my part into asking them to please help with some of this shit. But for god's sake, when I tell you I have 18 jobs, shipments or follow-ups that I need to do ASAP (and maybe have time to do half of them today if I really, really, really book ass), don't assume I'm exaggerating -- that's an actual count I had at one point, and I later realized I had forgotten a couple of things on that list -- so can you please stop bugging me? It would be easier to just slack off and not do it, but I'm TRYING to be a good person here, people! Anyway, if it continues I'll just let it go and be a slacker. It's for their benefit that I'm trying to be good. And I guess just to have the knowledge that I'm a good person. Eh, I know I'm a saint for dealing with this place for as long as I have. ;) Who wouldn't screw off and do as little as possible after giving their notice?
So that's that. Haven't progressed too much with the film stuff yet, but now that I'm free to put myself out there as much as I want, that's the next order of business. Got a non-paying job tonight & the showing of Saturday's project on Thurs., then leaving town for the weekend for my family reunion -- ack! So I guess Wednesday I'll be making some phone calls. Or maybe Monday. Because luck will dictate that if I call people right before a weekend I'm not available, I'll get all kinds of offers I'll have to turn down for the weekend... Could be worse, I guess. Next week I talk to a rental house to see if they'll hire me to as a grip-truck-stocker so I can learn more about gripping. And maybe get a class-whatever license so I can drive the trucks.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Being poor sucks
Man, you can't buy much with yer money these days. I'm trying to be poor, and it's harder than I thought. You really can't do anything, and it's really hard to eat healthy. I think I did a good job today. A lot of sandwiches and crackers (Triscuits and Wheat Thins on sale for $1.49/box!), but I got some pitas, hummus, tomato, cucumber and sprouts. My favorite sandwich (try it with roasted red peppers).
I'm also trying to go vegan, which I don't think will be 100% possible right now. I just saw a movie called Earthlings that was probably the most disturbing thing I've ever seen, addressing the way humans use animals, who are just as much earthlings as we are, for various purposes (food, pets, clothing, medical testing, etc.). And I feel horrible, because I was like, dammit, I'm going vegan. Then forgot and put cream in my coffee, then ate this or that because it was easier.
However, freelancing=poor, and I have to take advantage of free food as much as possible. So at home and at restaurants, I am vegan. At other people's houses (such as my family reunion next weekend, when my 80-year-old gramma has enough to worry about) and on shoots, I will be as good as possible but will still eat the occasional cheese. As everyone has pointed out, my not eating animal products won't actually make a difference. It's just my choice not to participate in that. Or at least to avoid it as much as possble.
This week I worked on an Ultimate Fighting Championship show, which was... Well, I made some money. For the most part it was pretty good, actually, but there were some issues at the end which left me with a pretty bad taste. (They tried to passive-aggressively -- without even coming out and telling me this was what they expected me to do until I asked about 3 times how exactly they were planning to do this when they were leaving at 5 am -- get me to take 5 or more large boxes to FedEx on my own time after the shoot was done and I was done being paid. I couldn't do it because I was working, and frankly was glad I had the excuse, because the truth is that's bullshit, yet they weren't too happy that I couldn't do it. Hey, hire me for 4 days instead of 3 if there's still stuff to be done the day after you leave, but don't expect me to take another day off work to do your shit for free. Or to do your shit for free when I was planning to sit at home on my ass anyway. Or even to do your shit for free when it's on my way to somewhere else and wouldn't take much of my time. You can afford to buy sushi and organic $10 sandwiches for lunch every day, then you can pay the damn PA.) Ah, the more I work with out-of-towners, the more I love them. (OK, the SD people I worked with were really nice. I would have said CA people, but some of these were based in Las Vegas and at least 2 were originally from the East Coast.) And I'm sorry, if they ever see this I'll never work in this town again (ha), but the makeup girl was way more of a diva about having to have everything exactly to her weird standards than the talent (who was totally fine about stuff). Does the makeup chick get to be that way?? When do I get to be a demanding brat?? Whiiiiine, there's not enough chicken on my salad. Well, let's show the waitress who just told us TWICE (because you made me ask TWICE) that that IS extra chicken. Well, I already ate it. So you want me to go tell her that wasn't enough chicken, but you already ate it? Never mind, it's fine. No, no, I'll buy you more chicken if you want more chicken. I didn't eat lunch yesterday, I can go without again today. No, it's fine, never mind. AUGH.
So whine about my new career. I know being a PA sucks, and that's OK. It's a rite of passage, everyone has to put in their time. And it depends on who you're working with -- it can be a great way to learn different departments while not being expected to know everything already when you get there. (That's why it pays less.) But jobs like this, well, they're there to keep me fed through the month. And to get me that much closer to real jobs if possible. THIS isn't what I want to do.
Now, yesterday's shoot, another story. Unpaid, of course, but I was a grip on a 48 Hour Film Project contender (of which there are like 80 in Mpls, because we rock), where you get 48 hrs. to write, produce and edit/post a short film. Ours is great, I'm so happy I got in with this group. And I got to grip without feeling like I'm unworthy and thrown into a situation that was over my head, so it was really good experience for me. The people were nice, I saw a few I knew before, and I really like the guy who brought me on -- I met him at the show I worked on last Friday (where I dolly gripped -- he was the camera operator). It's nice when you meet people you really like working with and have prospects of working with them again. That's what it's all about -- good people, good projects, etc. So I hope that goes somewhere. He's part of a production company, so I'm hoping that could turn into something. If I didn't mention that here, Drinking with Ian (the one I dolly gripped on last week) was GREAT. I met so many good people, worked with people I've worked with before (all ones I liked, too), and it was a GREAT opportunity. Dolly grip is one of the things I'd like to specialize in, if you can specialize around here. (Not really, but at least I'd like people to think of me when they think of dolly grips.)
Babbly babble babble.
It's coming along. Feeling pretty good about things. Need to get out there and start getting hired once I'm unencumbered with this stupid job.
I'm also trying to go vegan, which I don't think will be 100% possible right now. I just saw a movie called Earthlings that was probably the most disturbing thing I've ever seen, addressing the way humans use animals, who are just as much earthlings as we are, for various purposes (food, pets, clothing, medical testing, etc.). And I feel horrible, because I was like, dammit, I'm going vegan. Then forgot and put cream in my coffee, then ate this or that because it was easier.
However, freelancing=poor, and I have to take advantage of free food as much as possible. So at home and at restaurants, I am vegan. At other people's houses (such as my family reunion next weekend, when my 80-year-old gramma has enough to worry about) and on shoots, I will be as good as possible but will still eat the occasional cheese. As everyone has pointed out, my not eating animal products won't actually make a difference. It's just my choice not to participate in that. Or at least to avoid it as much as possble.
This week I worked on an Ultimate Fighting Championship show, which was... Well, I made some money. For the most part it was pretty good, actually, but there were some issues at the end which left me with a pretty bad taste. (They tried to passive-aggressively -- without even coming out and telling me this was what they expected me to do until I asked about 3 times how exactly they were planning to do this when they were leaving at 5 am -- get me to take 5 or more large boxes to FedEx on my own time after the shoot was done and I was done being paid. I couldn't do it because I was working, and frankly was glad I had the excuse, because the truth is that's bullshit, yet they weren't too happy that I couldn't do it. Hey, hire me for 4 days instead of 3 if there's still stuff to be done the day after you leave, but don't expect me to take another day off work to do your shit for free. Or to do your shit for free when I was planning to sit at home on my ass anyway. Or even to do your shit for free when it's on my way to somewhere else and wouldn't take much of my time. You can afford to buy sushi and organic $10 sandwiches for lunch every day, then you can pay the damn PA.) Ah, the more I work with out-of-towners, the more I love them. (OK, the SD people I worked with were really nice. I would have said CA people, but some of these were based in Las Vegas and at least 2 were originally from the East Coast.) And I'm sorry, if they ever see this I'll never work in this town again (ha), but the makeup girl was way more of a diva about having to have everything exactly to her weird standards than the talent (who was totally fine about stuff). Does the makeup chick get to be that way?? When do I get to be a demanding brat?? Whiiiiine, there's not enough chicken on my salad. Well, let's show the waitress who just told us TWICE (because you made me ask TWICE) that that IS extra chicken. Well, I already ate it. So you want me to go tell her that wasn't enough chicken, but you already ate it? Never mind, it's fine. No, no, I'll buy you more chicken if you want more chicken. I didn't eat lunch yesterday, I can go without again today. No, it's fine, never mind. AUGH.
So whine about my new career. I know being a PA sucks, and that's OK. It's a rite of passage, everyone has to put in their time. And it depends on who you're working with -- it can be a great way to learn different departments while not being expected to know everything already when you get there. (That's why it pays less.) But jobs like this, well, they're there to keep me fed through the month. And to get me that much closer to real jobs if possible. THIS isn't what I want to do.
Now, yesterday's shoot, another story. Unpaid, of course, but I was a grip on a 48 Hour Film Project contender (of which there are like 80 in Mpls, because we rock), where you get 48 hrs. to write, produce and edit/post a short film. Ours is great, I'm so happy I got in with this group. And I got to grip without feeling like I'm unworthy and thrown into a situation that was over my head, so it was really good experience for me. The people were nice, I saw a few I knew before, and I really like the guy who brought me on -- I met him at the show I worked on last Friday (where I dolly gripped -- he was the camera operator). It's nice when you meet people you really like working with and have prospects of working with them again. That's what it's all about -- good people, good projects, etc. So I hope that goes somewhere. He's part of a production company, so I'm hoping that could turn into something. If I didn't mention that here, Drinking with Ian (the one I dolly gripped on last week) was GREAT. I met so many good people, worked with people I've worked with before (all ones I liked, too), and it was a GREAT opportunity. Dolly grip is one of the things I'd like to specialize in, if you can specialize around here. (Not really, but at least I'd like people to think of me when they think of dolly grips.)
Babbly babble babble.
It's coming along. Feeling pretty good about things. Need to get out there and start getting hired once I'm unencumbered with this stupid job.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Soon to be future Ms. Unemployed America
Yes, folks, the time has come. As much as I thought it would be a labored, frightening leap into the black abyss, it really wasn't: I'm quitting my day job and freelancing full time! Yep. It's official -- all except for telling my job, that is.
Here's what happened: Tuesday I was talking to the hockey guys and mentioned I'd had to turn down 2 paying weekday jobs, and they said, oh, you don't want to do THAT. And I started thinking, my god, I've put myself out there, begged to be hired, then when people called, said, yeah, uh, can't really do that. NOT COOL. So I tossed and turned into the night. When I finally slept, I was having a dream about freelancing when awakened by my cats at about 4 am. I didn't get back to sleep after that, lying there wondering what I should do. All day I thought about it. That night I barely slept again (this was not helped by my cough that won't go away, mind you -- haven't slept well in a couple weeks -- I will only briefly mention that I fully believe that this is brought on by the noxious fumes from the welding shop attached to my office by a semi-insulated corrugated wall and a door that opens and closes about twice a minute. And yes, I'm finally going to call OSHA about it).
Thursday I was sitting there at work miles away in my own little world, thinking about all this when I sat up and said, OK, wait, I've been saving up for a little while now -- how much money do I have, vs. how much money do I need? I started doing some math. And I realized that, effective immediately, if I limit my non-set-bill spending (groceries, gas, beers etc.) to a certain, very low amount, I can probably get by through September with NO paying jobs if I work here through June.
When September rolls around, either I: am making a living and will continue to, am making a living but jobs will drop off, or am not making a living, and if it's either of the 2 latter I will go out and get temp office jobs until things pick up again. Temp jobs are always easy enough to get, and I have enough office experience now that I should make decent money. I've verified with people who've worked temp that this is still the case -- you can pretty much get a job immediately.
How simple and foolproof is that? And of course I'll make SOME money, so I think I can afford a vegetable once in a while (instead of living on pbj's, my plan until things pick up). I will also be able to get a beer or two with industry people for networking purposes from time to time (and so as not to go crazy).
I talked to my mom today and didn't mention that I'm quitting, smirkedy smirk. I don't know if I'll ever tell her. I rarely talk about my doorknob job anyway, and I won't lie, but if she doesn't specifically ask, "are you still working at that job?" I don't think I'll bring it up. Maybe if I make it for like a year and haven't asked her for one red cent I'll tell her.
Anyhoo. I've got a lot coming up already (taking time off work -- shhh!) and am feeling pretty confident about the whole thing despite some of my more experienced friends not being too enthusiastic about their own prospects. (Hard to compare me to them, though -- I'm a cheapass PA, not a producer or gaffer/grip/all-around kickass individual with a ton of equipment who knows everything and therefore costs more than lil ol me). Feeling pretty good, yet not dangerously manic about it. Ahhhh.
Here's what happened: Tuesday I was talking to the hockey guys and mentioned I'd had to turn down 2 paying weekday jobs, and they said, oh, you don't want to do THAT. And I started thinking, my god, I've put myself out there, begged to be hired, then when people called, said, yeah, uh, can't really do that. NOT COOL. So I tossed and turned into the night. When I finally slept, I was having a dream about freelancing when awakened by my cats at about 4 am. I didn't get back to sleep after that, lying there wondering what I should do. All day I thought about it. That night I barely slept again (this was not helped by my cough that won't go away, mind you -- haven't slept well in a couple weeks -- I will only briefly mention that I fully believe that this is brought on by the noxious fumes from the welding shop attached to my office by a semi-insulated corrugated wall and a door that opens and closes about twice a minute. And yes, I'm finally going to call OSHA about it).
Thursday I was sitting there at work miles away in my own little world, thinking about all this when I sat up and said, OK, wait, I've been saving up for a little while now -- how much money do I have, vs. how much money do I need? I started doing some math. And I realized that, effective immediately, if I limit my non-set-bill spending (groceries, gas, beers etc.) to a certain, very low amount, I can probably get by through September with NO paying jobs if I work here through June.
When September rolls around, either I: am making a living and will continue to, am making a living but jobs will drop off, or am not making a living, and if it's either of the 2 latter I will go out and get temp office jobs until things pick up again. Temp jobs are always easy enough to get, and I have enough office experience now that I should make decent money. I've verified with people who've worked temp that this is still the case -- you can pretty much get a job immediately.
How simple and foolproof is that? And of course I'll make SOME money, so I think I can afford a vegetable once in a while (instead of living on pbj's, my plan until things pick up). I will also be able to get a beer or two with industry people for networking purposes from time to time (and so as not to go crazy).
I talked to my mom today and didn't mention that I'm quitting, smirkedy smirk. I don't know if I'll ever tell her. I rarely talk about my doorknob job anyway, and I won't lie, but if she doesn't specifically ask, "are you still working at that job?" I don't think I'll bring it up. Maybe if I make it for like a year and haven't asked her for one red cent I'll tell her.
Anyhoo. I've got a lot coming up already (taking time off work -- shhh!) and am feeling pretty confident about the whole thing despite some of my more experienced friends not being too enthusiastic about their own prospects. (Hard to compare me to them, though -- I'm a cheapass PA, not a producer or gaffer/grip/all-around kickass individual with a ton of equipment who knows everything and therefore costs more than lil ol me). Feeling pretty good, yet not dangerously manic about it. Ahhhh.
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