BBLLWWWAAAAAHHHH

That is the sound of puking, which I did NOT actually do, but it was a close one. Let's just say... Oh hell, I had the shits, man. No reason to lie. I think I got me some food poisoning. But it would be a mild case, luckily (I've had it before and puked for 12 hours straight). Still, I opted not to drive 5 hours through some LONG stretches without bathrooms to grandma's for Easter. :( So I'm spending Easter alone, SOB! (That's sort of a joke, as I've always considered Easter the most annoying and pointless of holidays. I think it's mostly because of the pastels. And if you don't get a day off work, it ain't a holiday.) I do like the Cadbury eggs, so I'll be eating one of those tomorrow, in honor of the resurrection of our Lord and Savior and all.

So I took 2 days off work and have been sitting around my apartment for 3 days straight now and it's driving me crazy! At the same time, I just realized that in like 36 hours I'll have to get up for work! NOOOOOOOooooooo....

But on Monday night I'm getting my haircut! Now, unlike some, a haircut is not a bimonthly chore for me. It only happens once or twice a decade and is usually dramatic. I'm going to a curly-hair specialist, and the outcome will be either a) long hair that I can manage and wear down (right now I ALWAYS, and I mean 100% of the time, wear it in a ponytail), or b) SHORT hair. So it should be a big deal either way. I'm excited! I will TRY to get some pictures up here of my new skinny-ass short-haired self (or as the case may be). It's not easy for the likes of me, though. Analog girl in a digital world.

Oh, did I mention previously that I was going to play floor hockey with a bunch of film guys? Well, I did, it was fun (I SUCKED), and I've decided I'm going to keep playing. It's a much better workout than the treadmill. However, we went to the bar afterward and I had some beers -- canNOT do that every week or it will cancel out the effect of the workout. (BUT I had a salad, and everyone else had burgers.) And I think I have 2 more girls who want to come this week, so woohoo, will not be the only one! Although I only mind it in that I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't know what I'm doing. I'm used to being around all guys, and they're not too annoying about it, mostly.

I do not know why I always feel like I can't say things because "people" might see them. As no one reads this. So I will also say as a side note that they're a good lookin' bunch for the most part. Probably mostly married, but that's OK, just lookin'. But then, I think everyone is good looking. Seriously! Or else I only have good-looking friends. Which of course is in the eye of the beholder, so I DO! Anyway.

I was talking to the one guy in this group who I knew from before a couple weeks ago, and suddenly I remembered this guy I went on ONE date with a long while back, but it felt more like a "briefly dated" sort of situation. We e-mailed a fair amount between there because it was xmas break (this was at the U, although he's MUCH older than me), and admitted "you're kinda cool, I, um, think you're cute," stuff like that. Anyway, this is a sad, pathetic saga that I won't get into too much, but he stood me up REPEATEDLY (had great excuses, though!) and then just fell off the face of the earth. Hmm... Not far enough along into any sort of relationship to have gotten to know me and realized I suck (as he hadn't SEEN me since he said I decidedly did not suck), but far enough that you owe someone an explanation.

Not a huge deal as far as him personally, but it really bothered me for a while -- I was convinced I was a freak and no one could stand me, plus I felt somehow like I had been suckered -- he pursued me, got me to start really liking him, then it was like, HA, just kidding, stupid ugly girl from high school who guys made fun of, of course I never liked you! I hate to give anyone this kind of power, but yes, it had a strong effect on me at the time, stronger than it should have because it was the culmination/adult manifestation of all the insecurities I had felt all my life.

Not really relevent, but MONTHS later he shows up where I then worked (hardware store). Awkward small talk. He later called back, begged me not to hang up on him, said he wanted to explain everything to me, could he call me back that night? I said sure (NO interest in "seeing" him, just in hearing what happened for some peace of mind), gave him my #, AND NEVER HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN. What a winner. I'm not sure if I mean him or me.

Anyway, I completely FORGOT about this part: I met him in a film class, and he had just moved back here from CA where he worked in the film industry -- in lighting! Now, it's no coincidence I got into the same industry -- we met in a film class, and I always wanted to be in production, and he was the first person I met who was in it and could tell me how you do it, that you don't need to go to film school, etc. So I do credit him for planting that early idea, and that's the one good thing I still believe comes from every experience. But it is TOTALLY coincidental that I'm working in the exact same field! I sort of fell into it a few jobs in and liked it. Although I did more lighting in my theater days than a lot of things (esp. in high school), I never had a particular interest in pursuing it before.

Oh, so the tie-in to this guy I was talking to -- I casually asked him if he'd ever heard of this guy, and he said yeah, he knows him and has worked with him, sure, he's still in town! Apparently he's mostly into stage lighting now. But JEEZ, way to come full-circle! Anyway, I was thinking about that, and if I saw him now I don't think it would really be a big deal on my part -- this was like 5-6 years ago now, and I certainly don't have enough emotionally invested to hate him or care much at this point. But it is a little weird, and yes, I would have to fight off initial feelings of DRAMA if I did see him after all this time. Especially since (even though he nowhere near qualifies as an ex, it is the same kind of discomfort) I tend to keep my exes REAL far away, so I don't run into them, ever. (Except Joe, but that's another story I still haven't gone into).

Not sure what the moral of the story is, although I can now say that, whatever the hell was going on with that guy, even if it WAS a "ha ha ugly girl from high school, I was just PRETENDING I like you" thing (which I'm sure now it wasn't), IT DOESN'T MATTER. He probably has a small penis anyway. KIDDING, that doesn't matter either! But it makes my point -- I'm sure he had some upheaval or mental illness or moral dilemma or something going on and it had nothing to do with me, and I was all torn up about some ungrounded dude's issues for no reason. (Um, he had just gotten divorced, perhaps I should mention. COULD've had something to do with it...)

The moral is also that it's a small world, so don't fuck with people, because you might run into them socially or professionally 6 years later and feel like a DICK. >:)