Fear and Loathing

Not really, it was pretty standard and very fun. There were, however, a few trippy items: there was apparently a Santa Claus convention in our hotel (old men with long white beards and jolly bellies wearing conspicuously red clothes), and I found that the whatever street "experience" (starts with an F -- WHY can't I remember? Fremont?!) while extremely drunk just cannot be described. There were eyes on the ceiling (but we were outside...!), loud music, too many people... Oh, and of course Circus Circus is trippy, but it's a little obvious in its attempt. Also, although clearly based on it, I thought the casino in Fear and Loathing that Raoul Duke and his attorney go to while on an ether binge WAS Circus Circus. Imagine my disappointment to find that the acrobats were not performing bizarre acts directly overhead over a net above the casino floor, the rotating carousel bar in the middle turns so slowly it's almost imperceptible, and you do not walk through a crazy clown's mouth to enter the building. Drat.

Other than that, good times were had by all (well, I assume by all -- I had a good time). Very very tired now, and oh, look, I've wasted time until 1:22 am. But I get to sleep as late as I want tomorrow! As long as I go to the gym. Because I gained back some weight on the trip... And the contest is going to be closer than I thought...

One person is actually ahead of me by 2 percentage points (we're going off percent of original weight) which at this point (1 week left) would proably be impossible, BUT, he happens to be in Las Vegas right now, for longer than I was there, and he makes way more money than me, so he can eat buffets every day, AND he's reportedly a big eater. So it may be possible, but it's scary. If I can lose 3 lbs. in the next week, I might make it. I'm going to the gym every day and eating uberhealthy. The other closest person that I KNOW of is 1% behind me but has reportly given up and started eating bad food a lot. But she drove home 2 points -- she was already I think about 125 (and didn't need to lose weight, but did have a little teeny bit of chub, so fine, let her play) so you can't even tell by looking at her easily that she lost weight. So there may be other sneaky people. Plus the guy who's ahead of me works next door and no one knew he lost any weight (30 lbs. in addition to 20 he lost before the contest started, is the rumor), so who knows what other sneaky people are over there. Oh, point #2 is that life is fucking unfair. Miss 1% behind me hasn't eaten NEARLY as healthy as I have (I've seen her eat a TON of crap at work), and she plays down how much she works out, and she always ate a lot more than me, and she's thinner! So that sucks, but what are you gonna do.

ANYWAY, I'm just saying, I might not win. I'm trying to prep myself for that, since I was SO sure I was going to lose 30 lbs. and win hands-down. I'm still going to keep on the diet and everything after the contest, but I would REALLY like $440 for new clothes, etc. Sigh. I admit I'll be glad when I can stop obsessing about this!

But the good news is that since everyone at work went to the bar tonight and didn't invite me, at least they were all getting fat while I walked 6.5 miles after doing 20 min. on the eliptical.

:P

Still haven't heard anything from the job I applied for, so I'm going to start bugging them on Monday. And I need to call a DP I worked with at one time, who sounds like he's willing to give me some advice on going freelance if I don't get this job. I don't think I've mentioned it here, so if for posterity later I'm like, what job was that?, this is the Shop NBC full-time, permanent grip job. Not necessarily my artistic ideal, so when I was applying I was all relaxed, eh, I'll get it or I won't (and no idea how much it pays). But now I REALLY want it. So, much like the weight loss contest, I will probably NOT get it now. But I have to get out of this stupid job, so if this doesn't work, I HAVE to get my ass in gear on the freelancing thing.

So yeah, I turned 30. I've been a little crabby. Not necessarily crabbier than usual, but more than I should be after a fun vacation. The night that it hit midnight and became my b-day we were sitting on a crappy shuttle bus and were both VERY overtired from the Grand Canyon, and Joe was being a jerk, and I got very depressed. Then he tried to be nice and I hated him more. I was fine by morning, but I think the feelings are still there. I haven't really accomplished ANYFUCKINGTHING in life. But that's a rant for another day, or maybe never.

Oh, on a somewhat unrelated note, I don't know if I've mentioned to you, dear reader (and you know who you are, because you're the only one who reads this), but Neko's middle name is Stockton, which is the S. in Hunter S. Thompson. I just remembered that (because who thinks about their cat's middle name often?) because we were watching Fear and Loathing and Neko took great interest in it. He used to watch TV a lot, but not that much anymore. Mikey doesn't have a middle name yet, but when I think of something fitting he shall. But I wonder if, because I didn't name him Mikey, it might not be right to give him a middle name. ??? We'll see.

Also, I'm trying not to be all dramatic about it, but I had a weird thing happen. I got a mystery birthday wish on my work phone, saying, "if you want to know who this is, call this # back." So I did and got his voicemail, and let's say his name was Frank (which it isn't, that's the bunny rabbit in Donnie Darko), and I had no idea who the hell Frank was. Well, I finally figured out that it's FRANK, you know, Frank -- someone I used to work with (at the current job) whose birthday is a week after mine. How nice of him to remember! (Yet strange in that I didn't even think of him at first when I was racking my brain trying to think of ANY Frank I'd ever met.) Anyway, I have ALWAYS felt like he's trying to ask me out -- he calls me cutie or hottie all the time when he stops by work, always asks if I'm still single, just a lot of stuff. But I figured he was just nice (yes, it sounds smarmier here than it does when we're talking -- sort of). Well, this time he kept saying that he's been thinking about me a lot lately and how much it brightened his day to talk to me and stuff. I haven't seen the guy since at least June (because he changed jobs then and doesn't come into my work anymore) and only worked with him for a few months like 3 years ago. I have to admit, I had forgotten he existed. OH, so yeah, get to the point -- the reason this is weirding me out a bit is primarily because HE'S MARRIED. I mean, I don't think I'm interested anyway, but he is a nice guy, and the point is that it disgusts me that guys are like that! "Nice" ones, no less! I know, people have told me before how naive I am, thinking married people don't do that kind of thing... Anyway, I'm trying to make it a non-dilemma by assuming I won't talk to him for 6 months at a time and it won't matter. But it makes me feel somewhat icky.

Well, there's my long diatribe of the day. Diarrhea of the mind or something like that. Toodle-fucking-oo!